P90X, Day 50

Ohhh, I like how that looks. Day 50. More than half-way through Round 1. That makes me happy

OK, now for truth. I love the workouts. Still. Even after not being here to tell you that for days and days and days. When I'm eating like I should, according to the diet guide (minus about 400 calories), I feel good. But. And here's the big "but" for me...I'm not losing weight. I did at first. Then I put it back on. And I gained 2 more. No joke. Now, last week, I decided enough was enough and I dropped down my calories and I lost a pound. But. To technically be up a pound from when I started...that just kills me.

I have made contact with my coach through teambeachbody.com, and he has been incredibly supportive (and encouraged me to throw away the scales entirely and go by how my clothes fit and how my measurements are changing)...that has been a blessing. He basically told me this happens all the time. That I have probably gained muscle along with whatever fat is there, and for a while, I'll have both. Then the muscle will get efficient, burn the fat, and the muscle part of things will replace the fat.

I have a couple of theories. First off, my body fat percentage is low-ish for being in the shape I'm currently in. Which I didn't realize until I bought a set of calipers. About 21% or so--within normal range for a female. Second, I have big muscles. I'm a little irritated by the size of my arms and thighs, frankly. But they're solid. Third, I am just not small. I mean, I'm small, but I'm not tiny like my sister. I have to accept that and move on. Fourth...I'm working through the Lean Program with P90X. I may not see results that I would see if I had chosen to do Classic first. I don't regret that move--I think I'll be happier with myself at the end of this round and have something to look forward to in the beginning of June as a result of doing that. And maybe it will take 120 days for me to look like some of these people look a the end of 90. I think I'm ok with that. Frankly, what difference does it make? This is a change I plan to continue after 90 days, so if it takes longer than that to achieve maximum results...I guess it doesn't really matter much.

I guess over halfway through, there are points of the program with which I'm irritated...the whole concept of eating 2000 calories a day at the beginning seemed wonderful...but when I battled through each day to get that many calories in, then gained weight at the end of the week...it just didn't work for me. I really expected to see monumental changes in my body at the end of 30 and 60 days...and I really haven't. I mean, don't get me wrong, my muscles have changed...my measurements have changed...but...well, I thought it would be seriously noticeable in photos. In 10 days, I'll let you know what I think. At this point...I don't know.

Overall, I love the workouts. I love being conscious of how I'm eating every day. I love the accountability of logging workouts on teambeachbody and calories on sparkpeople.com. I can't believe how much stronger and more flexible and more fit I feel and perform. I'm less than thrilled with the physical, visible results...but that could change and balance out in the next several weeks. This is a recovery week for me--week 8. A welcome change in the routine. And then next week, it changes again, and I look forward to that as well.

We'll see.