Simple Woman's Daybook, 9/19/11

Outside my window...it's freezing! time to take the air conditioner out of the window and think about where i put all of my long sleeved things...

I am thinking...that today will be our Sabbath. perfect timing with sick kids and a momma who refuses to get sick.

I am thankful for...my amazing parents...and forty years.

I am wearing...green hoodie, skinny jeans, cuffed, white tank.

I am remembering...that today is a gift. even if it's a monday.

I am hearing...the dishwasher run...because i forgot to turn it on before bed last night.

I am creating...order and peace in my house early today.

I am going...to do a 3-day shakeology cleanse, starting this morning. i already feel good just knowing i'm doing it. 

I am reading...recipes. and cookbooks. 

I am hoping...that she doesn't push every one of my buttons today.

On my mind...due dates.

From the learning rooms...zoology, capitalization, explorers, King James, printing practice, times tables (oh, do we need the review).

Noticing that...if my feet are cold, so is the rest of me. this is an every-fall-type of lesson. 

From the kitchen...all things apple. we brought home 38 pounds yesterday. and tea....my fall drink.

Around the house...leftover chaos from a weekend of relaxing and partying at my parents' house. does your house get trashed even when you go somewhere else?? also...the whistling radiators. hate the thought of paying the gas company...love how they warm up the place.

One of my favorite things...jeans weather.

Praying for...contentment.

A verse for you...Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. (yes, i kept the same verse from last week. it is a good reminder for me.)

A few plans for this week...75 gumpaste ladybugs. 200 cupcakes. and a Ming Ming. karate soon?

If you enjoy dwelling on the simple things in life and want to participate in this, CLICK HERE to read all about it and join us! Leave me a comment so I know to check out your blog to see your post!

Simple Woman's Daybook, 9/14/11

Outside my window...clouds and the threat of rain...and cooler temps. it's fall!

I am thinking...about how quickly time passes. how short life is.

I am thankful for...being dearly loved.

I am wearing...white hoodie, black flannel jammie pants with snowflakes.

I am remembering...my fourth graders at CLC.

I am hearing...Hillsong Live "Our God is Love." over and over and over.

I am creating...oh, guess. yep. a cake plan for the next 3 days.

I am going...to conquer my entire to-do list tomorrow. 

I am reading...the texts for my online wedding planner course. slowly. because that's how i have time for it right now.

I am hoping...that Grandpa is ok.

On my mind...the possible contents of the next text message.

From the learning rooms...Life Science, exploration of the new world, the book of James, dividing decimals, area, the art of the reformation, punctuation and writing.

Noticing that...i love. 

From the kitchen...homemeade oreos and lots of meals that actually follow the meal plan.

Around the house...my office needs to be hoed out and organized. i keep putting it off. it keeps hanging over my head.

One of my favorite things...my kids. ok, that's 3. but still.

Praying for...healing.

A verse for you...Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

A few plans for this week...lots of phone calls to follow up. four cakes. celebrating my parents' 40th anniversary with apple picking and a few introductions.

If you enjoy dwelling on the simple things in life and want to participate in this, CLICK HERE to read all about it and join us! Leave me a comment so I know to check out your blog to see your post!

I'm still surprised.

I don't know why, really, but I'm always surprised when something pops up that I actually sort of expected to happen along the way. The latest surprise smacked me in the face this morning when I decompressed with my kids from their weekend away.

We talked things through in such a civilized manner when I actually made the decision to leave. I packed my things. We had conversations about who would take/keep what, when the kids would visit, how we would do Christmas, who we would explain things to, how we would go about that process, who would pay the bills, what child support would look like. We didn't fight tooth and nail, we didn't involve lawyers and judges. We agreed. We wrote it down. We turned it over for legaleze drafting. We read it, fixed details, signed it, returned it.

It's been 11 months. Things change. I shouldn't be surprised.

But I still am.

The things that started out so civil don't stay that way over time. I don't know if feelings get hurt or realities set in or bitterness kicks back in over time or distance or realization or what actually happens...but civility slips away. Maybe it's just nature. Maybe when you stop thinking about it all the time you get lazy about what you said you would do. Maybe you just forget. I don't know.

My heart breaks for my kids, though. And I am reminded of how carefully I must use my words. They are worth a constant, vigilant, humble effort. I will put in that effort. I will not forget.

working it out

I haven't been posting about my workouts/health/nutrition lately. There might be a reason. There's usually a reason I don't post about things. Most of the time it has to do with discouragement or crisis or frustration or something of that sort.

Yeah. I'm there.

I'm loving my workouts, really. I have to say that. I went here--On The Fly Fitness--and found this fantastic hybrid schedule for ChaLEAN Extreme and TurboFire and have been (nearly) 100% consistent with it over the past nine weeks. Nine Weeks. Wow. That's a long time. It's a 12-week program. If you don't know these programs, Chalene Johnson leads each one, and her style is fast, great music, super challenging--lots of martial arts and moving quick. ChaLEAN Extreme incorporates lifting heavy weights--yes, even for women--and lifting slow. She challenges you to get lean and to go heavy or go home. Sound crazy? It's not. Talk to me about it. I promise, I'm not turning into a muscle head. Instead of using the cardio segments from CLX, however, I have incorporated the crazy cardio from TurboFire, Chalene's high intensity choreographed "kickboxing" program. Some days I'm working through a shorter HIIT (high intensity interval training) workout from TF, then doing one of the resistance workouts from CLX. The day between resistance workouts, I use a longer TF workout and sometimes throw in a double on the resistance days. Not very often though. And I have to be honest...on heavy cake weeks, or weeks that I coordinate a wedding, the schedule has to be a little more flexible. Let's throw in there the fact that I've spent until 1:00 in the morning on the phone many nights over the past month or so and...well, I can say that doubles have been nearly nonexistent in that time. And that workouts have probably not been up to my normal standards.

And see...here enters my frustration/discouragement. Because if I don't have time to do the workouts like I want to do them...guess what my nutrition looks like?

Lazy. That's what. So, I'm less than thrilled with my current weight, dissatisfied with my tummy, and irritated with myself. It's like this vicious cycle. Rollercoasterish. But the thing is...I still feel pretty darn good.

That's the reality of being fit: even when you're a little discouraged, you still feel pretty darn good.

Three years ago, I lost 20 pounds (i know i've told you this story, but sometimes it bears repeating). I did it in a horribly unhealthy way--chopped out all carbs, basically, and dropped my consumption down to about 1000 calories a day. It still took me about 8 months to lose all of that, and with the craziness of moving and mild depression and eating virtually every meal out of the house, it makes sense as to why that happened. But I didn't work out basically at all in that process. It took me about six months to gain 8 pounds of that back...and I felt like garbage. Honestly, I felt like garbage the whole time I was losing and after I had lost. There was nothing healthy about eating almost nothing. I still couldn't run from the store to my car in a rainstorm without being seriously out of breath. Feeling that way as compared to how I feel right now...sucks. I love running from Friendly's to my car in tonight's rain and not feeling like I want to die when I collapse into the seat. Not huffing and puffing for the next 5 minutes as I try to catch my breath. Parking as far away from the door as possible in the rain storm so that someone with 3 toddlers can have that spot next to the door and knowing that I CAN run (and that the same run is good for my kids, who like getting wet anyway) without dying. I love feeling the muscles in my legs when I walk. Seeing them in my arms when I reach for things. And then there's waking up in the morning ready to get up, even if I didn't get as much sleep as I'm used to. Sleeping all night without waking up to stare at the ceiling. Falling immediately to sleep when I crawl into bed. Keeping up with my kids when they're running around the park. Keeping up with my dad and brother on my first ever long bike ride (yeah, I know they took it easy on me my first 15 miles, but whatever).

So I guess my point in all of this...yep, I'm irritated with myself. Yep, I'm discouraged with what should be a much better in-shape-ness than the place where I currently find myself. But...when the rubber meets the road, I still feel pretty good. The temptation would be to let myself just stay right here, unfortunately. The temptation, frankly, that has propelled me through the summer at this very. same. spot.

So, here's my action plan: I'm going to finish up the last 3 weeks of this hybrid with gusto. I'm going to kick it up with 3 doubles workouts a week (starting tonight with a two-mile treadmill run, as it's way too wet to go outside...holy it's-been-raining-for-two-solid-days, batman). Tomorrow I go back to Phase I P90X portion nutrition plan...complete with checklist in my to-do list and all. My goal is to drop these stubborn 3 or 4 pounds that always bother me, and maybe drop a couple more in those 3.5 or so weeks as well.

If I tell you, and know that you could ask me about it at any point, I have to do it, right?

And have I told you all about my bodybugg yet?

The Wedding

So this weekend, there's this wedding. I'm coordinating it.

It is making me laugh. And cry. And scream a little bit.

It's funny how when you watch a wedding from the pews and think about how beautiful everything is and how wonderful the celebration is and how beautiful everyone looks and how wonderful the bride and her family did with preparations...you forget what exactly goes into the process of making it all of those things.

It's funny how when you have 18 days to help a bride bring all of the last-minute details together you seriously wonder...

...is anyone going to say any of those things about this wedding?

I am thankful the reception is at a winery, and someone else is bringing the cake (which was delivered today instead of tomorrow because I had nothing to do with the planning/confirmation process).

Also, I will never make all of the pies for the rehearsal dinner at a wedding I plan to coordinate again.

So, it's been...like...months

I know. I really do. But, you see, life just keeps barreling on. Things keep happening. Things that keep me away from my blog for mostly good reasons.

Things like a week spent camping in a tent with my kids. During which I spent 23 hours at home, baking, decorating, and repairing crashed cakes. Yep. My first official, very serious caketastrophe. (And yes, it rained that week. A lot.)

Things like a week where I built and delivered 7 cakes.

Things like a weekend where I built and delivered 4 cakes.

Things like...

...hmm. There's a lot of stuff having to do with cakes up there, isn't there?

Oh, there have been other things going on too, I promise. It's not all cake-related. Though sometimes it feels like it all revolves around the cakes I'm designing/planning/baking/building/delivering at the time. Funny how work is like that. Especially when you do it out of your actual kitchen.

There have been four weeks in a row on worship team. Meeting new people. Talking a lot. Researching and ordering new curriculum. Starting Rosetta Stone Spanish. Figuring out finances and debt and a plan to deal with all of that. Raising three kids. Helping my dad tear the roof off the back of my house. Coordinating a wedding.

And last night I went and did something that will surely keep me from blogging even more...I know...you're shocked, right? Last night I enrolled in a Wedding Planner Certification Course.

Why would I do such a thing?

'Cause I felt like it, that's why.

I've been the "Wedding Coordinator" at my church for several years. Pioneered the position, if you will. Helped nail down the process. Put a job description together. Made an in-depth questionnaire for potential brides. I've helped out with 3 different receptions at varying levels. I've been the Maid of Honor in several friends' weddings, so I've helped work through the process with many brides...and every single time I do a wedding...I think about how much I enjoy that process. I am reminded of how good it feels to help that bride through the most important day of her life to that point. I always wish I had more time to devote, more organization to offer, more resources to give her. I love caking. I do. I think I am good at it, and I think that I am more and more in demand each time I open my email or look at my facebook. But. I don't think I can make a living making cakes out of my kitchen. Oh, it's a nice extra-income-type-thing...but it's not a substantial, someday-I'll-be-able-to-retire income. More of a let's-use-this-as-vacation-money income. A creative outlet. And it's seriously labor intensive. It's an artform, really. The effort to build those cakes doesn't really pay off.

So, there it is. I will become a wedding planner. :) And that may seem like it's coming out of nowhere...but it's not. I keep thinking...nutrition. Health. Science. Math. And I keep winding up back at...doing something with people. Doing something I love. I love weddings. I love working on my own time frame. This could give me the opportunity to continue to stay home with my kids and work and make a decent living (and a few cakes on the side. ;) ). I might even be able to retire some day. And I might need a couple of business classes along the way. And...some referrals. I'm so excited about the coursework, and not that it's really super necessary, I'm sure, but I'm already 2/15 of the way through it...they give you 12 months to finish it all...hehe...and I look forward to learning how to promote and market myself. I may enlist my brother. He may make me move to Rochester. ;)